A friend of mine lamented that it’s a real equalizer to stand in front of the rack of Father’s Day cards.

Let’s just say that her relationship with her father has been less than gratifying, if not downright ugly.

The sadness, despair, and – yes – anger she feels about her father was only punctuated by the cards from which she had to choose:

“Dad, you’ve taught me everything I know. I love you.”

“Buddies today. Buddies tomorrow. Buddies forever.”

“Dad, you’re my Hero.”

My friend stood in front of the rack of cards, unable to even consider sending an unfelt sentiment through the mail to the man who was her father.

And while she could certainly envy other people’s loving father/son/daughter relationships, hers was not one of them.

So how do you go about reclaiming Father’s Day if you have unresolved issues about your relationship with your dad?

There are a substantial percentage of people who don’t have that lovin’ feelin’ about their father.

Is there a way to get it back? Is there a way to at least shift your feelings about your relationship so that you can position yourself differently and let go of some of the pain, hurt, and anger? Is there a way to think about your relationship with out feelings of hostility?

Here’s where the tool of Numerology can come in and provide you with some information that can potentially allow you to come to terms with your relationship with your father.

It won’t magically make it “all better.”

What it can do, though, is offer you a different vantage point from which to view him, yourself, and the two of you together.

All we ever want from our father is love.

Unconditional love, heart-felt support, and acknowledgment for who we truly are.  And often a real disconnect comes in when we feel that our dad hasn’t been able to live out his own dreams and potential.

If you know your father’s basic Life Path Number (and your own), you can start understanding the purpose of your separate journeys – and see how you were put together to help each other learn certain things.

It takes a desire to want to elevate your thinking beyond “He did this” and “He didn’t do that.”   Tapping into Numerology opens the door for you to begin to see yourself and your relationship with your dad with a different, more expansive lens.

RECLAIM FATHER’S DAY . . . by the Numbers

First, calculate you and your Father’s Life Path numbers. Use the full birth date.

Example:

NOVEMBER 19, 1985

• November is the 11th month. Add 1 + 1 = 2

• The day of birth is 19. Add 1 + 9 = 10; Keep
adding to digit down to a one-digit number:
1 + 0 = 1

• The year of birth is 1985. Add all four numbers together: 1 + 9 + 8 + 5 = 23;  continue adding until you get a one-digit number: 2 + 3 = 5

We now add the resulting single digits.

Month = 2 Day = 1   Year = 5     2 + 1 + 5 = 8

In this example, the Life Path number is 8.

Understand that defining the Life Path number is just a starting point.

It’s like knowing your Sun Sign in Astrology. The Life Path number defines your life’s purpose – what you’ve come here to learn, what you’re developing, and what you’re evolving into.

Also know that what we’ve come here to do (as indicated by your Life Path number) will be the most difficult thing for us to do.

Keep this in mind as you think about yourself – and your father’s Life Path numbers.

I hope you have a relationship with your Dad that’s worthy of every sentiment ever written on a Hallmark Father’s Day card.

Yet if you don’t, this is a good way to begin to reclaim your relationship with your Dad.

1 LIFE PATH: 

If your father is a 1 Life Path, know that he’s here to be a leader.  He’s meant to follow his unique visions, be independent, act with individuality, and achieve in the material world. 

He might struggle with:

  • Low self-esteem.
  • Anger management issues.
  • Being a bully & self-centeredness.
  • Addictions.
  • Or giving way his power and blaming everyone else for his lack of achievement.

In relationships with his children, his negative tendencies might lean toward:

  • Not listening; wanting to tell you what to do without eliciting your input.
  • Needing your constant admiration and cheerleading – he’s a leader, so he’s always looking for followers.
  • Making everything about him all the time – narcissism.

How to start to reclaim your relationship:

  • Understand that your father is enrolled in the “School of Hard Knocks.”  His life is a series of challenges that could potentially grind anyone down into the fetal position. He’s working on balancing a healthy sense of individuality, independence, and achievement – without defaulting into narcissism or helplessness.
  • Attempt to see the ways in which he has or hasn’t acted on his creative ideas and leadership.  He travels a thin line between healthy assertion and being domineering, between healthy individuation and rebellious isolation. This can explain (not excuse) some of his defensive personality and attitude.
  • Find a way to meet him where he is while building healthy emotional boundaries. Check to see how your Life Path number either meshes or clashes with your dad’s.  This is a great starting point to locate where you just don’t “get” each other.  It’s easier to start bridging those gaps when you can clarify what the gaps might actually be.

2 LIFE PATH: 

If your father is a 2 Life Path, know that he’s here to be a mediator.  He’s meant to be unconditionally loving, diplomatic, and be of service to others. 

He might struggle with:

  • Being overly emotionally sensitive – with men, often camouflaged as being emotionally stoic or combative.
  • Caring too much about what other people think about him.
  • Being somewhat childish and needy.
  • Inability to take the lead.
  • Over-giving and then withdrawing with resentment.

In relationships with his children, his negative tendencies might lean toward:

  • Smothering you with too much attention.
  • Being blunt and closed-off emotionally.
  • Or lacking a “spine” to stand up for himself.

How to start to reclaim your relationship:

  • Understand that your father is very emotionally sensitive, which isn’t particularly embraced in our culture!  So he’s had to do a dance with himself all his life regarding how to manage his highly sensitive emotions and high levels of intuition.  Family is usually important to him and he thrives in partnership, yet that’s no guarantee that he’ll find one true love in life.  The key to his relationship success is to get to truly know and accept himself without needing acknowledgement and approval from outside sources.
  • Attempt to see the ways in which he has or hasn’t acted on his mission of service to others, giving and receiving unconditional love, and using his amazing meditative and diplomatic skills.  Know that your father is conflict avoidant (yet if he’s working on the flip-side of his Life Path, he can come off as combative and/or childish)  yet he’s here to resolve conflict.  Not the easiest thing to balance.  This can explain (not excuse) some of his personality and attitude.
  • Find a way to meet him where he is while building healthy emotional boundaries.  Check to see how your Life Path number either meshes or clashes with your Dad’s.  This is a great starting point to locate where you just don’t “get” each other.  It’s easier to start bridging those gaps when you can clarify what the gaps might actually be.

3 LIFE PATH: 

If your father is a 3 Life Path, know that he’s here to be a communicator.  He’s meant to be in the spotlight, performing, using his creative sense of self-expression, and working with a high level of emotional sensitivity. 

He might struggle with:

  • Depression – lots of emotional highs and lows.
  • Debilitating self-doubt.
  • Scattered focus – having a hard time following-through with things.
  • Talking all the time while not saying anything!
  • Having an inappropriate sense of humor.

In relationships with his children, his negative tendencies might lean toward:

  • Lacking any sense of personal responsibility.
  • Being emotionally unavailable.
  • Holding on to old negative memories and replaying them over and over again – either memories regarding the two of you, or memories regarding his interaction with others.

How to start to reclaim your relationship:

  • Understand that your father is meant to be highly attuned with his emotions and express those emotions creatively and with joy.  His mission is to use his creativity in the world and to inspire and uplift others.  If he’s missed that mark, he’ll be lingering in “woulda, coulda, shoulda“- ville all of this life.  He’s fearful of criticism (especially when he was a kid) and that fear can stand in the way of moving forward with his creative ideas.
  • Attempt to see the ways in which he has or hasn’t acted on his mission of creative self-expression and joyful communication.  Know that your Father is emotional, creative, witty, and has a quick-thinking mind.  This can explain (not excuse) some of his personality and attitude.
  • Find a way to meet him where he is while building healthy emotional boundaries.  Check to see how your Life Path number either meshes or clashes with your Dad’s.  This is a great starting point to locate where you just don’t “get” each other.  It’s easier to start bridging those gaps when you can clarify what the gaps might actually be.

4 LIFE PATH: 

If your father is a 4 Life Path, know that he’s here to be a hard-working systems builder.  He’s meant to be steady, stable, a knowledge-giver, and a master of processes. 

He might struggle with:

  • Over-work and feeling like a martyr about it.
  • Self-limiting behaviors.
  • Being inflexible – both physically and mentally.
  • Inability to think outside of his own self-imposed box.
  • Or lazy, irresponsible, and lacking integrity.

In relationships with his children, his negative tendencies might lean toward:

  • Being unable to get past his own dysfunctional family history.
  • Being bossy and inflexible.
  • Unable to support you if you are a creative risk-taker.

How to start to reclaim your relationship:

  • Understand that your father is the “slow and steady wins the race” guy.  He sees the world in quite a literal and concrete way.  He conservative in his thinking and practical in his approach to life.  Family is important to him and he’ll work hard to provide a solid foundation.
  • Attempt to see the ways in which he has or hasn’t acted on his mission of attaining his goals through hard work and effort, sharing his vast knowledge by teaching others, and resolving his own family wounds.  Know that your father just wants to be solid, trustworthy, and offer himself (and you) a sense of security.  One of his major goals is to be a protector and a good provider.
  • Find a way to meet him where he is while building healthy emotional boundaries.  Check to see how your Life Path number either meshes or clashes with your Dad’s.  This is a great starting point to locate where you just don’t “get” each other.  It’s easier to start bridging those gaps when you can clarify what the gaps might actually be.

5 LIFE PATH: 

If your father is a 5 Life Path, know that he’s here to be a freedom seeker.  He’s meant to experience the tactile world in all of its glory, experience freedom through self-discipline, be a progressive thinker, and an agent of change. 

He might struggle with:

  • Not wanting to truly settle down.
  • Addictions or other excesses.
  • Needing constant excitement and simulation.
  • Shifting from being super independent to utterly dependent (without notice).
  • Or over-all fear, over-emotionalism, and being scattered.

In relationships with his children, his negative tendencies might lean toward:

  • Not being around for you.
  • Being self-absorbed and not able to support you as an individual.
  • So afraid of “life” that he’s the anti-adventurer, anti-risk taker, and fearfully hangs on to anything and everything.

How to start to reclaim your relationship:

  • Understand that your father is here to experience all the sensual pleasures the world has to offer, and yet his challenge is to manage this with a sense of controlled purpose and self-discipline. He often feels the “call of the wild” and might not offer the most dependable routine or structure for his family.  Know also that since “freedom” is a theme for him, often he must deal with different levels of restriction throughout his life.  This can show up with work, with the physical body, and with relationships. 
  • Attempt to see the ways in which he has or hasn’t acted on his mission of freedom through self-discipline, resilience, progressive thought and action, and change and adventure.  It often takes a 5 Life Path a while to burn off some fuel (or “sow his wild oats”) before he can level things out.  On the flip-side, he can live in depression and regret for not following his passions and diving into exciting experiences during his life.  This can explain (not excuse) some of his personality and attitude.
  • Find a way to meet him where he is while building healthy emotional boundaries.  Check to see how your Life Path number either meshes or clashes with your Dad’s.  This is a great starting point to locate where you just don’t “get” each other.  It’s easier to start bridging those gaps when you can clarify what the gaps might actually be.

 

6 LIFE PATH: 

If your father is a 6 Path, know that he’s here to be a nurturer.  He’s meant to learn to balance his sense of responsibility, accept the perfection of the imperfection of everything, and devote himself to service, love, home, and family.

He might struggle with:

  • Being irresponsible.
  • Perfectionism.
  • Being a control freak.
  • Acting with an extreme sense of self-righteousness.
  • Being hard on his family members.

In relationships with his children, his negative tendencies might lean toward:

  • Having extraordinarily high standards for your performance.
  • Wanting you to conform to a list of “shoulds” of his making.
  • Being overly concerned with how things “look” to other people.

How to start to reclaim your relationship:

  • Understand that your father is here to learn how to balance his unyielding sense of responsibility (and sometimes, of irresponsibility).  He’s at his best when he’s contributing to his family, acting on his visionary ideas, being creative (he just might be an amazing musician or singer), and serving as a wise counselor to others.  His is a life best lived through love, service, devotion to home and family.  He’s a tremendously magnetic guy and is a fountain of ideas.   
  • Attempt to see the ways in which he has or hasn’t acted on his mission of balancing responsibility and being of service.  Usually a 6 Life Path makes a solid and steady Father, yet he wants all the puzzle pieces to fit into his own puzzle. And if he just doesn’t understand where you’re coming from, the relationship can be strained.  He’s learning not to be such a bossy-pants and instead be the supportive and understanding counselor that he’s geared to be, while letting go of his idea of what the exact outcomes should be.
  • Find a way to meet him where he is while building healthy emotional boundaries.  Check to see how your Life Path number either meshes or clashes with your Dad’s.  This is a great starting point to locate where you just don’t “get” each other.  It’s easier to start bridging those gaps when you can clarify what the gaps might actually be.

 7 LIFE PATH: 

If your father is a 7 Life Path, know that he’s here to be a seeker of truth.  He’s meant to be a spiritual seeker, develop both his analytical and intuitive gifts, and get to know himself in a deep and authentic way. 

He might struggle with:

  • Living in his head.
  • Communicating bluntly and sharply.
  • Being unable to tap into his emotions – also addictions.
  • Feeling as though he’s on a different wavelength than most people.
  • Being aloof and critical.

In relationships with his children, his negative tendencies might lean toward:

  • Being aloof and “absent;” either physically or emotionally.
  • Rational and analytical interaction rather than emotional connection.
  • Over-focused on his own journey and incapable of carving out time and energy for you.

How to start to reclaim your relationship:

  • Understand that your father’s always seeking answers to life’s questions.  He’s also a person who – if he’s not working with a higher sense of spiritual purpose (no matter how he might define that) – can be superficial and inaccessible. 
  • Attempt to see the ways in which he has or hasn’t acted on his mission of developing and using his left brain/right brain to discover things and then share them with the world. He’s in his element when he’s seeking answers, digging deep into himself, and is able to share his hard-won wisdom with you and with the world. He’s a data-driven guy and yet also can be highly intuitive, which can feel weird to him.  He’s living what I’d deem an “internal journey.” This can explain (not excuse) some of his personality and attitude.
  • Find a way to meet him where he is while building healthy emotional boundaries.  Check to see how your Life Path number either meshes or clashes with your Dad’s.  This is a great starting point to locate where you just don’t “get” each other.  It’s easier to start bridging those gaps when you can clarify what the gaps might actually be.!

8 LIFE PATH: 

If your father is an 8 Life Path, know that he’s here to be a financial powerhouse.  He’s meant to gain the satisfaction that comes from material success in the world through the right use of money, power, control, and authority. 

He might struggle with:

  • Being a controller and a bully.
  • Addictions or other excesses;  workaholic.
  • Having an excessive need for approval, acknowledgment, and power.
  • Anger issues.
  • Or he can be someone who’s never been able to gather his sense of personal power and rise to the challenge of staking his claim in the material world – meaning he is a victim and struggles with money and personal power.

In relationships with his children, his negative tendencies might lean toward:

  • Working so much that he’s an absent or semi-absent Father.
  • Being self-absorbed (and controlling) and not able to support you as an individual.  Meaning, he wants you to fit into his vision of who you are and how your life is supposed to be.
  • Emotionally explosive and volatile.

How to start to reclaim your relationship:

  • Understand that your father is very here to step up and master his portion of the material world.  His is an intense journey, no doubt about it.  His personal power has been tested over and over again (from childhood on) and he’s wrestled with authority issues.  He’s meant to be financially abundant, yet it’s not a linear path.  There are a lot of ups and downs in his life that can make or break his positive attitude and resilience. At the end of the day, your Dad would feel most satisfied if he makes a substantial amount of money, gives generously, and makes a lasting mark in the world.
  • Attempt to see the ways in which he has or hasn’t acted on his mission of mastering money, power, control, and authority.  He thinks in business-like ways and – while he is emotional – he doesn’t often accept that part of himself.  He despises weakness in others – and weakness in himself.  Just remember that his life hasn’t been a walk in the park; whether he has struggled financially or whether he was born with a “silver spoon” in his mouth.   This can explain (not excuse) some of his personality and attitude.
  • Find a way to meet him where he is while building healthy emotional boundaries.  Check to see how your Life Path number either meshes or clashes with your Dad’s.  This is a great starting point to locate where you just don’t “get” each other.  It’s easier to start bridging those gaps when you can clarify what the gaps might actually be.

9 LIFE PATH: 

If your father is a 9 Life Path, know that he’s here to be a humanitarian.  He’s meant to be creative, spiritually minded, and a heart-centered giver. 

He might struggle with:

  • Lacking integrity.
  • An inability to let go of old experiences or any old “stuff.”
  • Being a fanatic;  a lecturer, not a listener.
  • Getting caught up in negative thinking or overly idealist and romanticized thinking.
  • Inability to learn from his mistakes – being a “Rebel Without A Cause.”

In relationships with his children, his negative tendencies might lean toward:

  • An inability to fully engage with you on an authentic level due to lack of desire to truly listen to what you have to say.
  • Continuing enmeshed family dynamics.
  • Never showing signs of “weakness” or a need for help or support.

How to start to reclaim your relationship:

  • Understand that your Father is very here to learn how to give and to receive.  Usually, it’s the receiving part that’s most difficult for the 9 Life Path to master.  Your Dad could be drowning in quicksand and never, ever ask for help.  He has a terrible time asking for what he needs on an emotional level.  He’s creative, compassionate, and wants to give back.  He suffers a lot of loss in his life – so understand that his is a journey of letting go, moving forward, and moving on.  He is here to learn the joy of limited rewards for certain things that he commits to in life.
  • Attempt to see the ways in which he has or hasn’t acted on his humanitarian mission.  Your Dad is super creative and has a lot of wisdom to share, yet he can come off as more of a proselytizer than communicator.  His life is full of loss and he’s being asked (okay, forced) to learn how to let go, let go, let go.  This can explain (not excuse) some of his personality and attitude.
  • Find a way to meet him where he is while building healthy emotional boundaries.  Check to see how your Life Path number either meshes or clashes with your Dad’s.  This is a great starting point to locate where you just don’t “get” each other.  It’s easier to start bridging those gaps when you can clarify what the gaps might actually be.

I know this is a long post!  Yet I would be remiss not the mention the Master Numbers here.  If you calculate your or your dad’s Life Path number and get an 11, 22, or 33 before you digit down to the 2, 4, or 6, you’re working with a Master Number. 

For more information about the Master Numbers, check out Master Number 11,  Master Number 22, and Master Number 33.