I’ve often used the quote:  “What you resist will persist.”

And yet in the past months I have questioned that notion.

Yes, resistance as avoidance doesn’t just regress into the sidelines. Whatever we want to avoid does have a tendency to persistently make its way back around.

Like when …  you go out for one drink and it always ends up being five.  (Resistance to practicing self-discipline)

Like when …  you know that the way your partner verbally undermines you when you’re with friends or family isn’t healthy or in any way all right with you and yet you continue to let it slide.  (Resistance to standing up for yourself)

Like when … you feel as though you’re marching into purgatory every day when you show up to work and yet do nothing to change jobs or improve your situation because, well, because.  (Resistance to change or to taking action)

And while “What you resist will persist” is often true, I’m finding there are times when it isn’t true.

When in actuality, active resistance results in a reconfiguration of the persistent issue.

This form of active resistance can actually transmute and reformulate the issue at hand.

The key is “active intentional resistance.”

Let’s use the gym metaphor. 

In order to build muscle, resistance training is key. 

The more weight, the more resistance. 

The heavier it is, the more attuned your body gets. 

The more often you engage in resistance training, the easier it gets to endure longer period of time training. 

The more reps you do, the stronger and more resilient you become.

So if we carry forward with this metaphor, we can revisit the idea that “what you resist will persist.” 

How can we think about re-thinking what we resist and why we resist it?

Let’s offer some perspective, by Life Path number.

1 Life Path: The Innovative Leader

As a 1 Life Path, here is your usual point of resistance:   FEAR OF FAILURE

  • You will always be met with people, situations, and experiences that pull you into dependent situations. This can be within your family of origin, friendships, work colleagues, or intimate partnerships.
  • Time after time you’ll be met with opportunities to fall down and pick yourself up again.
  • The coping mechanism is either avoidance of taking responsibility for yourself and your actions OR putting up a defensive wall of assertion and lacking consideration for others.

RETOOL:  As you’re met with opportunities to step into a healthy level of independence and to stand on your own two feet, understand that this isn’t something to be avoided and you’re not being punished by continuing to have experiences that push you to individuate and step into a healthy sense of self-actualization.  THIS IS THE POINT! 

As you build your “independence” muscles:  Focus on healthy assertion, seeing other people’s strengths and point of view, and taking responsibility for your actions (and inactions!).

2 Life Path: The Heart & Soul

As a 2 Life Path, here is your usual point of resistance:   SHAPE-SHIFTING IN ORDER TO PLEASE OTHERS

  • You will always be met with people, situations, and experiences that pull you into conflicting situations. This can be within your family of origin, friendships, work colleagues, or intimate partnerships.
  • Time after time you’ll be met with opportunities to navigate and mediate hostile or challenging circumstances that result in the need for your diplomacy, patience, and loving support.
  • The coping mechanism is to over-give and be trampled on as you attempt to do everything for everyone OR to put up a combative shield and lack the ability to patiently see and understand other points of view.

RETOOL:  As you’re met with opportunities to step into a healthy level of strong and clearly defined emotional boundaries, understand that this isn’t something to be avoided and you’re not being punished by continuing to have experiences that push you to define who you are and what your values are under any given circumstances.  THIS IS THE POINT! 

As you build your “diplomacy” muscles:  Focus on strong yet supple boundaries, meet all engagement with curiosity about what makes other people tick, and back off from attempting to control and make everything “nice” for everyone all the time.

11/2 Life Path: The Spiritual Illuminator

As a Master 11/2 Life Path, look at the descriptions for the 1 Life Path (and double it!) and then also look at the 2 Life Path.

3 Life Path: The Creative Communicator

As a 3 Life Path, here is your usual point of resistance:  BLOCKED EXPRESSION

  • You will always be met with people, situations, and experiences that pull you into situations where it’s imperative that you express your creativity and your authentic emotions.
  • Time after time you’ll be met with opportunities to speak your truth and express yourself in the most clear, optimistic, and positive ways.
  • The coping mechanism is either superficial and scattered connectivity with people OR defaulting to pessimistic, depressive, and negative communication.

RETOOL:  As you’re met with opportunities to step into your authentic emotional life, understand that this isn’t something to be avoided and you’re not being punished by continuing to have experiences that push you to express yourself in the most impeccable way possible – through your words, actions, and intentions.  THIS IS THE POINT! 

As you build your “communication” muscles:  Focus on cultivating tools that assist in understanding your emotional life (therapy, energy work, or other methods!), give yourself permission to use your creativity on every level, and continue to work on single-tasking rather than multi-tasking.

4 Life Path: The Systems Builder & Teacher

As a 4 Life Path, here is your usual point of resistance:   SELF-IMPOSED LIMITATIONS

  • You will always be met with people, situations, and experiences that pull you into situations where it’s imperative that you get out of your own way and meet your goals systematically and methodically.
  • Time after time you’ll be met with opportunities to create flexibility in mind, body, and spirit.
  • The coping mechanism is either hunkering down and working to the point of exhaustion OR trying to skip steps and side-step responsibility.

RETOOL:  As you’re met with opportunities to step into your sense of stability and security, understand that this isn’t something to be avoided and you’re not being punished by continuing to have experiences that push you to step up to the plate, set up longer range goals, and become more open to different methods of doing things.  THIS IS THE POINT! 

As you build your “management” muscles:  Focus on lightening up and not treating everything like it’s so serious, give yourself permission to relax, and learn to be okay with speed bumps and limitations along the way.

22/4 Life Path: The Master Teacher & Systems Builder

As a Master 22/4 Life Path, look at the descriptions for the 2 Life Path (and double it!) and then also look at the 4 Life Path.

5 Life Path: The Sensuous Freedom Seeker

As a 5 Life Path, here is your usual point of resistance:    FEELING CONFINED

  • You will always be met with people, situations, and experiences that pull you into situations that test your feeling of restriction and containment. This can be within your family of origin, friendships, work colleagues, or intimate partnerships.
  • Time after time you’ll be met with opportunities to explore your sense of freedom while using a strong dose of self-discipline to get there.
  • The coping mechanism used is either being a rolling stone that gathers no moss (or much of anything else!) OR feeling overwhelmed, unfocused, and fearful.

RETOOL:  As you’re met with opportunities to step into a healthy level of freedom and to enjoy all of the sensual experiences your life has to offer, understand that this isn’t something to be avoided and you’re not being punished by continuing to have experiences that challenge your sense of restriction and open the door (continuously) that houses your greatest fear(s).  THIS IS THE POINT! 

As you build your “freedom” muscles:  Focus on reining in self-indulgence, act upon your fearless and versatile spirit, and find your “root system” so that you can produce the results you want to create.

6 Life Path: The Nurturing Visionary

As a 6 Life Path, here is your usual point of resistance:    GIVING UP THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL

  • You will always be met with people, situations, and experiences that pull you into situations where you’re called upon to be the responsible party. This can be within your family of origin, friendships, work colleagues, or intimate partnerships.
  • Time after time you’ll be met with opportunities to balance and modulate your sense of duty and responsibility.
  • The coping mechanism is either being a responsibly martyr (and grinding perfectionist) OR judgmental and lacking a sense of responsibility.

RETOOL:  As you’re met with opportunities to step into your loving, responsible, and home-focused existence, understand that this isn’t something to be avoided and you’re not being punished by continuing to have experiences that push you to let go of perfectionism and relinquish the need to control everyone and everything.  THIS IS THE POINT! 

As you build your “nurturing” muscles:  Focus on supporting others without needing to control the outcome, caring for yourself as well as you care for others, and only take on the responsibility that lights you up rather than weighs you down.

33/6 Life Path: The Teacher of Unconditional Love

As a Master 33/6 Life Path, look at the descriptions for the 3 Life Path (and double it!) and then also look at the 6 Life Path.

7 Life Path: The Analyst (and sometimes reluctant) Spiritualist

As a 7 Life Path, here is your usual point of resistance:    TRUSTING YOURSELF

  • You will always be met with people, situations, and experiences that test your sense of trust in yourself, in other people, and in the wisdom of the Universe!
  • Time after time you’ll be met with opportunities to rely on your intellect and also to develop and trust your psychic/intuitive abilities.
  • The coping mechanism is either over-thinking and over-analyzing with a strong sense of emotional detachment (and frustration) OR being so airy-fairy that you’re disconnected from the demands of your life here on planet earth.

RETOOL:  As you’re met with opportunities to step into a healthy level of faith, trust, and the development of your understanding of your higher spiritual calling , understand that this isn’t something to be avoided and you’re not being punished by continuing to have experiences that push you question your purpose and that push you into developing and using your intuitive gifts.  THIS IS THE POINT! 

As you build your “intuitive” muscles:  Focus on connecting to your body since you often are in your head so much that you can have physical issues that are meant to make you pay attention to your physical vessel.  Also developing an active interest in personal and spiritual development and learning to go with the flow of life rather than push against it.

8 Life Path: The CEO & Material Manifester

As an 8 Life Path, here is your usual point of resistance:   THE NEED FOR CONTROL

  • You will always be met with people, situations, and experiences that pull you into power struggles. This can be within your family of origin, friendships, work colleagues, or intimate partnerships.
  • Time after time you’ll be met with opportunities to master the fine art of earning money and respect.
  • The coping mechanism is either avoidance of taking yourself seriously enough to empower yourself (feeling victimized) OR being over-focused on money with an abuse of power or influence.

RETOOL:  As you’re met with opportunities to step into a healthy level of financial achievement and to use your influence for the good of others, understand that this isn’t something to be avoided and you’re not being punished by continuing to have experiences that push you to step up or get stepped on!  THIS IS THE POINT! 

As you build your “power” muscles:  Focus on exerting power rather than using force, come to terms with how money can empower you and offer you the freedom you long for, and learn to soften and use your influence wisely and well.

9 Life Path: The Charismatic & Creative Humanitarian

As a 9 Life Path, here is your usual point of resistance:    OVER-GIVING TO THE POINT OF ENABLING

  • You will always be met with people, situations, and experiences that pull you into situations where you’re the Giver. This can be within your family of origin, friendships, work colleagues, or intimate partnerships.
  • Time after time you’ll be met with opportunities to balance your giving nature and learn how to receive as well.
  • The coping mechanism is either over-giving to the point of enmeshment and resentment OR withholding emotionally or financially as a means to control others or to make sure things are only for your benefit.

RETOOL:  As you’re met with opportunities to step into a healthy level of humanitarian-based service, understand that this isn’t something to be avoided and you’re not being punished by continuing to have experiences that push you to lovingly detach from unproductive dynamics and learn to listen and respond with emotional connectivity to others.  THIS IS THE POINT! 

As you build your “service” muscles:  Focus on balancing both giving and receiving, lean into your quirky creativity, and learn to let go and let it flow.

 

Photo by Alora Griffiths on Unsplash