Our involvement with love and relationships are one of the primary reasons we’re here in this world. As a numerologist, this is one of the key elements people want more insight about. I’m always asked why a relationship didn’t work or how to attract the perfect partner.

Mostly I’m asked: “So what’s my problem? What am I doing wrong? What am I missing?”

Understand that we all have unique issues that influence the way we engage with and approach relationships—whether those are relationships with our family, friends, colleagues, or lovers.

Yet knowing some of the innate challenges you might experience is always beneficial and offers some potential insight and areas of illumination that can be useful in defining and understanding how you present yourself in your relationship life and what some of those shadows might be that sneak up and sabotage us.

Knowing your Life Path number is similar to knowing your Sun Sign in astrology.

I would suggest that you broaden your understanding of the complexity of how you might deal with love and relationship by looking at both your Life Path number and also your Expression number, which can be compared in some ways to the Rising Sign in astrology. So if you know both of those, it’s suggested to read the explanation for both.

Ultimately, when looking at relationship compatibility, I also focus on the Soul Urge number.

Since we’re examining how you might push love away, don’t take these observations personally. This is what the numbers bring to you, after all! Instead position yourself to look through a viewfinder of curiosity rather than judgment. This is designed to be informative, not critical or judgmental.

 

1 Life Path:

As a 1 Life Path, you’re here to get to know yourself. Really—from the ground up. Your primary purpose is to develop your sense of creativity and confidence in whatever you do. You’re here to learn how to individuate yourself from others, develop your sense of independence, and then get on the road to attainment and achievement. You’re meant for leadership and are an innovator. You’re the most self-focused of all the Life Path numbers because it’s your mission in life to get to know your self on every level.

When it comes to love, the 1 often leans towards needing to be dominant and the one who’s in charge in the relationship. And while that might work for some, mostly it’s a recipe for an unbalanced—and ultimately—unhealthy dynamic. You need someone who’s your cheerleader, your support, and who idolizes you. Because of this, you often attract partners who are more like students and you take on more the role of teacher. Yet as soon as the student catches up with the teacher (and sometimes surpasses the teacher), well then, that’s when the unraveling begins. The 1 is learning how to broaden the viewfinder and step outside of yourself and actually care about someone else in an unconditional way. The 1 can be fairly self-centered or self-focused.  

You can push love away simply by not having an awareness about other people’s feelings and desires. Love can feel of secondary importance to you as you make your way in your work world and do what it takes to climb that ladder. You may distance yourself from love by doing the most oxymoronic thing—becoming the ultimate co-dependent. Ultimately, your success in love resides in waking up to the fact that you need to partner with someone who’s your equal financially, spiritually, and in every other way. Only then will you understand how to co-create a thriving relationship. In relationship, it’s not all about you all the time.

A reason why you might push love away?      Insecurity mixed with self-focus.

 

2 Life Path:

The 2 Life Path is the heart and soul of any relationship. You’re a mediator, diplomat, and your primary purpose is to develop your sense of love, harmony, and balance in whatever you do. You’re all about love—giving and receiving unconditional love. It’s vital to your feelings of accomplishment and happiness in life to have a satisfying intimate relationship. You want and need a relationship to feel as though you’re fulfilling your life’s purpose.

When it comes to love, here’s the news for the 2. Since relationships are an integral part of your life’s work, you’ll get some test runs in the love department. Your biggest obstacle is your overweening sense of wanting to be what you think everyone wants you to be—whatever that might be. And most often this is totally made up in your own head. You’re the ultimate “I want you to want me” sorta’ guy or gal. As a 2, you’re learning to define yourself—not to rely on outside acknowledgement and approval from others.

You can push love away by being emotionally hurt so early and so often that you project either a desperation or a tense aversion to entering into—and to sustaining—a relationship.  Your tendency is to immerse yourself in another person, often to the point of smothering others or losing your own essence in the process. Ultimately, your success in love resides in not mutating yourself to please others—yet rather by stepping into your own individual identity. Healthy emotional boundaries, anyone? Open and direct communication with a partner is crucial and yet often a very fearful path for the 2 Life Path to tread.

A reason why you might push love away?      Wanting love to the point of desperation mixed with over-giving (then withdrawing with resentment).

 

3 Life Path:

The 3 Life Path is a master or mistress of all things expressive. Your primary purpose is to develop your sense of creative self-expression and emotional sensitivity in whatever you do. The 3 Life Path thrives in the spotlight with performance, entertaining, or any creative and communicative endeavor. You’re most often intelligent, curious, and dynamic. Witty and a quick-thinker, the 3 Life Path is a force to be reckoned with!

When it comes to love, you’re full of passion and need intense engagement with an intimate partner. Yet you often attract “takers” in your life—partners who are more like projects—even though you don’t consciously seek that out. If there’s one thing you require it’s that you’re emotionally supported and heard in your relationship. Yet the problem is that somehow you attract those who are (not consciously, mind you!) intent on dimming your light. You attract narcissists and the emotionally unavailable like flies to fly paper.

You can push love away by either being emotionally self-indulgent or alternately emotionally withholding. You expect others to read your mind and fulfill every emotional corner of your existence, which isn’t humanly possible. Ultimately, your success in love resides in “becoming one” with your emotional life to such a degree that you open yourself to a partner who can be your wing-person across the board without needing to be your absolute emotional caretaker.

A reason why you might push love away?     Emotional volatility mixed with deep emotional wounding.

 

4 Life Path:

The 4 Life Path is “Practical Polly” (or “Practical Paul”). You’re detail oriented and work to establish a strong sense of security. Your personal mission is to develop stability and process in every aspect of your life. Your life’s purpose is to achieve stability and security by patiently following a gradual process toward your goals. You’re a seeker of knowledge and often take on the role of teacher.

When it comes to love, you’re often not particularly gregarious or risk-taking. You prefer something tried-and-true, whether it’s between the sheets or with the daily routine. You’re honest, trustworthy, and loyal and demand the same from anyone with whom you might share your bed and your life. You’re dependable and thrive on the predictable. Most often you take a dominant role in your relationship, whether you’re male or female. You’re the one who takes charge and sets down the rules of engagement.

You can push love away by being emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable. Often this is based in a history of being hurt, abandoned, or abused—which can be something you know about yourself consciously or don’t understand about yourself because it can be an unconscious element of your life. Love can elude you because you can be practical rather than romantic and pragmatic rather than open to experimentation and spontaneity. Relationships can become something that is part of your daily punch-list rather than a symbiotic alchemy between you and your partner. The 4 Life Path can be the ultimate realist, which can either create a more “workaday” approach to your love life or make you shy away from investing yourself in a relationship at all.

A reason why you might push love away?     Being emotionally wounded mixed with a need for control.

 

5 Life Path:

The 5 Life Path is built for sexual relationships, yet not necessarily for long-term monogamous relationships—at least not usually at the get-go. A 5 Life Path’s optimal expression is fearlessness, adventurousness, self-discipline, and the ability to show others how to live their lives fearlessly. Your personal mission is to find inner freedom through discipline, focus, and depth of experience. Yours is the most sensual and sensuous of the Life Paths. You’re here to experience the world in all of its tactile glory—and you’re acutely sensitive to how things look, feel, taste, and smell. You’re here to experience all the sensual world has to offer—within certain perimeters!

When it comes to love, you’re often the easy come/easy go kinda’ guy or gal. Experience is the name of your game and so you’re drawn to the unusual, if not the dramatic. Not that you won’t try out the usual, yet it won’t hold your attention for long. The grass is always greener in somebody else’s bedroom—until you’ve “been there and done that” and make a conscious determination to reign it in. Often the 5 Life Path can live by rather unorthodox or at least non-traditional sexual or relationship morés—open marriage, no belief in traditional marriage, or a host of other more creative approaches to relationships.

You can push love away in one of two ways. You don’t fully grasp the way you indulge yourself and quickly move on to the next adventure. Or you can become involved and then hang on far after the shelf life is expired in a relationship. You’re a person who will always need your space and freedom and that often comes about early on as immersing in a relationship and then (metaphorically speaking) running out the back door at 3 a.m. while pulling your pants up. You have a habit of leaving more than your share of emotional collateral damage in your wake, even when you think you’re being crystal clear about your non-committal status. You tend to feel trapped, confined, and stifled. Love can elude you when you’re unable to cope with the day-to-day realities that a true partnership brings to the table where every moment isn’t intensely engaged with your high level of self-focused standards.

A reason why you might push love away?     Need for unabashed freedom mixed with self-indulgence.        

 

6 Life Path:

Of all the Life Path numbers, the 6 Life Path is meant for a life built on love and relationship. You go together like love and marriage—horse and carriage! A 6 Life Path’s optimal expression is being responsible and also capable of allowing others their own lives without judging and criticizing them. You allow for personal imperfections while being a nurturing presence. You’re a visionary who trusts—and is inspired by—your vision of the “big picture.” Your life’s purpose is to reconcile your high ideals with practical reality and to accept yourself, the world, and the present moment by embracing the perfection of all the apparent imperfection.

When it comes to love, you’re the cosmic parent and natural nurturer. Yet since that is a focal point for you, the 6 Life Path has a few hoops to jump through on the way to lasting and healthy partnerships. The 6 Life Path feels a vast void when not actively engaged in a relationship and you can find yourself “otherwise spoken for” earlier rather than later in life. You derive a distinct level of satisfaction when you’re deeply ensconced as a couple. The last choice for your theme song would be “Love The One You’re With.” You only want to be with the one you love, period.

You can push love away when your unrealistic expectations and ideals about your partner reach out to crush them and—as a result—your relationship. The 6 Life Path has a bar that is so high in the love department that it can be mission impossible to please or satisfy you. You find the smallest (or the largest!) of your partner’s infractions unacceptable and then default to scathing judgment and harsh criticism. Understand that this stems from your own exceedingly high levels of expectations for your own behavior. You’re a perfectionist, after all. And while that’s part of your charm and overall effectiveness in life, it can prove to be a toxin within your love life.

A reason why you might push love away?     Perfectionism mixed with unrealistic idealism.        

 

7 Life Path:

Ah, the enigma that is you, oh-7 Life Path! The Seeker. The Spiritualist. The Analyst. The Perfectionist. The Skeptic. The Hermit. A 7 Life Path’s optimal expression is being attuned equally to intuition and intellect, wisdom, being at peace with yourself, and not being afraid to open up emotionally to others. Your personal mission is to develop trust and openness in every aspect of your life. You’re a smoldering mystery to others and sometimes to yourself!

When it comes to love, you’re often kinda’ into it and—then again—kinda’ not. You need your alone time, your processing time, and your unplugged time. Yet that doesn’t preclude a beautiful love partnership! It does point to the fact that your levels of communication about your need for space need to be heightened when you’re in a relationship. And let’s not forget your perfectionism and your heady intellect. Often you’d rather concentrate your efforts on doing whatever it is that’s capturing your imagination than to take your head out of that etheric world and devote yourself to a relationship on terra firma.

You can push love away when your intellect blocks out or overrides your heart or your emotions on a consistent basis. In many ways, love is something that you desire on a more theoretical level. You’re the analyst after all! It’s as though you keep yourself one-step away from the actual experience and instead end up being halfway in and halfway out—part active participant, part passive observer. And while sex and intimacy can play a prominent role for some 7s, often this aspect of life takes a secondary position on your list of priorities.

A reason why you might push love away?     Over-intellectualizing mixed with detached judgment. 

 

8 Life Path:

Intensity, thy name is 8 Life Path. Overall, your optimal expression is being at ease with financial abundance, using power and authority wisely and for the good of others, not dwelling in the negative or becoming a victim to circumstances, and being abundantly giving of time, money, and influence to make the world a better place. Your personal mission is to develop abundance and empowerment in every aspect of your life.

When it comes to love, you’re a “time is money” kind-of person and you think in business-like terms. You look for a partner who fulfills the role of “the other half” of your power couple and you value someone who’s physically attractive and who looks good on your arm. And let’s face it, you’re often much more focused on work and career, so much so that your significant other can tend to feel neglected and overlooked, even though you’re simply attempting to be a stellar provider. You have a need to control and that extends to relationships. You can be generous and yet tend to feel that money (or status) can be used as a substitute for one-on-one emotional engagement.

You can push love away by being overly controlling and fixated on power. Emotional availability can be a challenge for you because emotions are a secondary feature as you forge a path of material success. You have zero tolerance for anyone who crosses you, either in love or in business. You seek a relationship that can support and help you fulfill your goals in life and while you can offer support to a partner, your needs always come first. If you’re challenged with the material abundance that’s at the core of the 8 Life Path, love can materialize in a more dire way—with you in the role of abused (or alternately you can play the role as the abuser). When you’re disempowered, your relationship life can embody and exemplify your deepest shadows.

A reason why you might push love away?     Emotionally distant mixed with an unyielding need for control.      

 

9 Life Path:

The 9 Life Path is full of compassion and brimming with love. Your highest and best is in giving back to the world with gifts and talents, detachment from old family wounds, empathetic listening, and being open to new experiences every day. Your life’s purpose is to live in with the highest integrity, to align your life’s purpose with your heart’s intuitive wisdom, and to serve with altruism. Your life is meant to be expansive, creative, and spiritually challenging. The number 9 is the number of endings—of completions, surrender, and letting go. Yours is a path of charisma, creativity, and compassionate service.

When it comes to love, you’re a hopeless romantic. You have high ideals about love and about how intimacy should play out in your world. Most often the 9 Life Path is the ultimate giver and yet you’re learning how to give and to receive, without conditions and without control. You’re highly emotional and yet can have trouble navigating your own emotions and the emotions of others. You’re learning to extract yourself from co-dependent relationships across the board—from family of origin to your intimate partner. Some 9s can be emotional hoarders—hanging on to the past as if you’re grasping at a lifeboat while drowning. You’re certainly at your best when you’re moving with the flow rather than ensconced in old stories about the past and replaying old hurtful experiences.

You can push love away when default into doing things your way without taking your lovers desires into consideration. The irony here is that you’re often over-doing in your relationship, yet it can be more in line with control and a lack of interest in listening and hearing others. You can be the ultimate enabler. You must let your guard down and ask for what you need because your needs aren’t easily read by others—you have to ask for help. You’re the type of person who can literally be drowning in quick sand and yet when there’s a person passing by who notices you’re in a precarious position and asks if you need help, you’re the first one to wave them off and assert that “everything’s fine.” This is a hard one for you. In relationship you want to please and also would love to be adored by your partner. Yet often love is only acceptable to you on your own terms and your terms only.

The reason why you might push love away?     Unrealistic romanticism mixed with enabling.